The Agony Of Realizing That ‘The One’ Is Now Somebody You Used To Know

To be very happy is to have experienced much sadness. In fact, it isn’t possible to experience truehappiness unless you have a true understanding of what it means to be miserable. Knowing happiness is to only know one side of the coin; knowing sadness means gaining a new appreciation for the whole thing, entirely.

Knowing how deep of a hole it’s possible to fall into only elevates you higher when you find yourself on a mountain peak. And there is no better way to understand the highs and lows of life than to know what it means to be in love.

To understand love is to understand what it can do to you, how it can make you feel and how it permanently changes a person. Love consumes your life and inevitably is the deciding factor in living either a great or miserable life.

It isn’t possible to love without feeling the pain that must accompany it. When you think about love and what it means to love a person, you likely only consider all the good feelings, ignoring all the bad. We like to imagine love as the pinnacle of happiness — but that isn’t what love is.

Love isn’t just the good feelings we experience, but also the awful ones. It’s the entire experience; it’s both the amazing and horrible thing that makes being in love the most exciting and alive you’ll ever feel.

You neither can nor should try to avoid the sadness of love. There is always some loss associated with loving a person. You don’t want to own them, but to fuse with them, become a part of each other – and because you can never fully become one, you’ll always feel that there is a part of them that you won’t truly know.

There is always a chance of losing them, if not now then somewhere down the line. In fact, you are guaranteed to lose them sooner or later as death has a nasty habit of cutting the ropes that bind two lovers together.

If death alone is the only force that can separate the two of you then consider yourselves blessed. Sadly, life itself and the decisions we make along the way are often more than enough to mangle the love between two individuals.

The truth is that relationships sometimes die – and the love that once was goes along with them. Time changes people. People change people. The love that you once had too often fades or burns up in a blaze and the person that once meant the world to you is suddenly a stranger.

More likely than not, that person no longer even exists. You may find yourself still part of a relationship in which your partner has become a stranger.

You may have spent the last few years together only to now have to accept that the person you wake up next to every morning isn’t the person you remember once waking up next to. They changed. You changed. The lovers that once were no longer exist.

Finding out that the person you loved is no longer the person you love is an incredibly frightening realization. The two of you, though living in such close quarters, have managed to lose each other.

Now a decision needs to be made: Do you continue walking forward with this person by your side or do you make a change? Do you find a way to resuscitate that love or do you cut your losses and move on with your life?

I feel that most people find themselves in a position in which the person they once loved no longer exists. Even if we don’t find ourselves part of a relationship in which we lose our lover, we all look back and realize that one or several of the people we once loved – that were once a huge part of our lives and shaped the people we are now – we no longer know.

Too many people, even those we at one point deemed to be very important to us, become strangers.

The thought alone is depressing. Love has to die for it to have any value – just as we, ourselves, have to die in order to have importance. You will one day look back with tears in your eyes at the shadows of the people who made you, you.

The memories will fill your heart and then leave you with an emptiness once reality kicks back in. You will feel sad. You will feel pain, but smile: what you are experiencing once again is love.

These people may no longer be parts of your life. They may no longer even exist, but the love still does – even if in a slightly different form. Feel the pain that those memories bring and then turn the coin over.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr



How To (Really) Love Someone

Thought Catalog

Cedric YonCedric Yon

First, eliminate every stereotype about love that lives in your naive little brain. Evict the princes & princesses that inhabit the Disney neighborhood of your mind, forget that one book you read the summer after 7th grade about the girl & the beach & the dude that loved her despite her speech impediment. Let go of the guy in the band that you smoked cigarettes with in high school—the one that told you that you were different. He lied. You aren’t. Okay, maybe a little.

Go to college. Feel out of sync but oddly electric. Smile at all the different breeds of boys. Expect too much from a frat boy. Er, maybe expect too much from 3 frat boys. Stop smiling at boys after one guy told you to go to his room & wait for him. You wait for an hour & he comes in the…

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The Best Type Of Love Is The One You Can Live Without

Thought Catalog

Sleepless In SeattleSleepless In Seattle

I think we’ve all been there.

Caught up in a torrent of emotions that we seem powerless to control; hardly able to think of anything else, barely able to function outside of the situation. We lose ourselves in ‘love,’ in what we believe love is supposed to be and how it is supposed to feel. We’re desperate to have them, to create an ‘us,’ sure that we’ve found the ‘one.’ How could it be anything else when we’re so utterly consumed?

All our lives we’ve been battered and engrained with the ideal that, unless you’re insane and addicted in your feelings for someone, it isn’t real and it isn’t going to last.

I’ve had that ‘love,’ and now years later, I hesitate to even call it that. Love is not obsession; it does not require you to give yourself wholly and completely at the expense of yourself…

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Learn from Your Setbacks

A journalism graduate who had her greatest heartbreak after receiving a failing grade that swept away her dream title…

Photo by I’m Garcade

Where do our failures take us?

Failures attack us in the most unexpected place and time… After experiencing failure, it is not easy to shift to the next episode of our lives and just buried our frustrations along the way. It is a moving on process and we have to be strong enough to surpass each step.

Jonah Jativa, a 24-year old Bachelor in Journalism graduate of West Visayas State University Batch 2010, came from the humble town of Santa Barbara, Iloilo. She belongs to the cream of the crop during her elementary and high school years. One of her passions is to lead young people to Christ and help them to mature spiritually in order to transforms others as well.

She was a consistent recipient of Academic Excellence Award from her first year to fourth year and even a member of the Studiositas Honor Society.

“I believe our favorite books can say boatloads about our character,” according to Jonah. She loves to read inspirational, leadership and religious books. Among the books that influenced her lot during her college years were: I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Dug Down Deep, Encouraging Words for Women and Rich God, Poor God by Chinkee Tan.

When asked if journalism was her first choice in college, she honestly admitted and say NO. “Journalism was not my first choice. It was not even in my top 5 college courses,” stressed by her.

During her high school years, she imagine herself taking up nursing and wearing a white uniform. But she believes that life is not just all about “Plan A”. Along the way of our life, we will meet various circumstances that will pull us and make us divert our decision. “It just happened. I mean God made it happen. I took up that course hoping it’ll work well for me. And thank God it did work,” she added.

“I was one of those journalism students who were running for Cum Laude…”

Upon receiving a failing grade from her major subject, Jonah cried buckets and the idea of “could have been” kept on haunting her, knowing that all her hardships for the past four years of her stay in college were all put to waste.

“Sayang” she thought.

The pain of losing the goal that she has always wanted is there, but she realized that she can’t do anything about it. Sometimes things like that happened. Therefore, she just continues her life and turned her greatest setback to be her greatest motivation to strive more in life.

The grades that you will obtain in college are all nothing. They are just the cherries on our resumes. The most important thing is not the title and awards, but the values and learnings that you have reaped and how will you be able to apply it to the life outside the four walls of the classroom.

She is currently working as Social Media Strategist for almost four years at Callbox Sales and Marketing Solution.

“Pressure will always be there, especially if you are in the corporate world already. How do I handle it? Love your work. If you love your work, pressure will no longer be an issue. It will be a nudge for you instead. In addition, if you love what you do, although you’ll get tired, you’ll still continue. Leave all pressures you get from work in the office. Work is just work. U still got a whole life to enjoy. Learn to relax. Lastly, pray hard and learn from your failures.”

16 Digits Away to Make a $200 Go Away!

     If you have the power to move the timeline backwards and correct the mistakes you have done, would you dare and take the risk to change it? Would you want to eliminate it, as if it never happened in the history of your lifetime? One of the hypothetical questions that I always throw to myself whenever a random thought haunt me.

I guess each one of us, in the course of our lifetime, there is one thing that we regret the most. It made us cry buckets and made us remorsefully swear not to do it again.

Here is mine:

Exactly the same month now, seven years ago, I made (by far) the biggest mistake of my life.

Everything is just a WOW when we first had our internet connection at home. That feeling you get when you realized that you could use the internet without staying in a public internet café. No noise all around, no one is standing at your back watching every click you made, and no time restriction.

I admit I had the “because-it-is-new” syndrome. I stayed up late at night discovering various stuffs in the internet. I changed my friendster theme every once and a while depending on my mood. I watched different movies that I am dying to view before in the movie house. I got to download the songs, videos and pictures of High School Musical, unlimitedly. Everyone who knows me very well can attest how truly, deeply, madly and insanely in love I am to High School Musical. When it comes to Zac Efron (Troy) and Vanessa Hudgens (Gabriela) tandem, my nerves are going up to the pinnacle of my excitement.

Photo by Glogster

One time, while I was browsing the internet, I came across a website saying “SIGN UP AND MEET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL CAST WITH UNLIMITED FREEBIES.” Out of curiosity and excitement of a 12-year-old fangirl, I clicked everything just to know what it is all about. Until I reached a point, wherein I have to put all my personal details. Without a slightest form of hesitation, I put everything that is required to do. But… I stopped at the last part.

The last part is requiring me to put my credit card account number. I realized that I don’t have that card-card thingy. There you go, my excitement went down the slope.

Suddenly, I remember that my mom has a MasterCard from Metrobank. Without knowing where my decision will take me, I went inside my mom’s room and pretended that I am looking for my notebook inside her cabinet. It was a perfect timing also, my mom went outside our house because someone called her from the neighborhood. I quickly made my search operation and copied the 16 digits account number of my mom.

I went out of her room and sit down again in front of the computer. Alas! I made it. As I completed the sign up process, I saw only a “CONGRATULATIONS!” message. Nothing special happened. I thought Zac Efron will meet me live in my screen or Vanessa’s video will flash to say that I am one of the many who will visit Albuquerque, New Mexico for free. Just like that. Just a “Congratulations!” message?

So days have passed, it seems like nothing happened.

A month after, I saw my mom startling after opening an envelope with a bill from the bank inside. There she saw a charge of $200 USD from Columbia Bank!!!

Photo by Expand My Wealth

To make the long story short, I admitted to my mom that I used her credit card number to make my dream a reality– that I thought was true but only to find out that it was an internet credit card scam! It took only 16 digits away for a $200 USD to go away. She was very angry knowing that I am the reason for that very big charge in her account.

The anger of my mom passed but the lesson that I learned with that experience will always linger in my memory: READ AND THINK BEFORE YOU CLICK!